Dexa Doesn’t Define Me (but I did learn how to weigh my breasts!)

I recently had a Dexa scan. I love numbers and trends, so I thought it would be interesting to see what would change in my body over time by adding in strength training. So this was the pre-scan. But because I love numbers, I knew what those numbers should look like if I was “healthy”. Now in case you don’t know, a Dexa scan measures your body fat, both visceral (around the organs - the bad kind) and subcutaneous (the wiggly jiggly that you see), your lean body mass and your bone mineral density.

Being a “woman of a certain age,” aka postmenopausal, you hear a lot about how important bone mineral density is. You also hear a lot about how important strength training and protein intake is. So embarking on strength training is my next new thing. I’ve always hated lifting weights, and I far prefer plant protein over meat, but  as someone who is constantly striving to learn and grow, there is always something new to do to support my growth as a human. 

It’s not like I’ve been lazy thus far. I walk a brisk three miles a day with my dog and do “functional training” two to three times a week. This consists of a series of pushups, squats and planks. I also ride my bike whenever I can - obviously more in the summer and fall than other times of the year. Additionally, I love to hike and paddle board. In other words, I like to be outside moving as much as possible. I’m no athlete, but I’m no slouch either. 

In the last twenty years or so I’ve prioritized whole foods, minimized processed foods and focused on nourishing my body and exercising. In the past three years I’ve made great strides in optimizing my sleep and managing my stress in a supportive way. I’ve “worked through” some past trauma, healed my pulmonary hypertension, and learned to acknowledge that I actually have feelings and that they are ok. And also, in the last three years, I became postmenopausal. And that has really f***ed with my body. 

It is well known that menopause changes all your metrics - raises your blood sugar, raises your bad cholesterol, raises your blood pressure, makes you more prone to joint pain and broken bones - essentially puts you at risk for all the “lifestyle” diseases just because you no longer make estrogen. I know this now, but didn’t know it going into menopause, so unfortunately all those metrics started to change for me, despite my “healthy” lifestyle.  I’m hoping that optimizing bioidentical estradiol will reverse some of these processes or at least stop them in their tracks.

So back to the Dexa scan. The good news is my bone mineral density is in the 85th percentile for my age. Yay! I’ve had so many people tell me that running, cycling and walking don’t count. But maybe they do a little. 

Now to the number that almost undid me. I’m going to be completely vulnerable and share it with you because I think transparency is important. My total body fat was 37%. The bad stuff (visceral) was just barely above the ‘healthy range’ and in the ‘at risk’ range. But seriously 37%????? For someone in the health and wellness industry this was a rather alarming statistic. Before being curious about this, I was pissed off. All that effort for nothing? Now twenty or thirty years ago, I would have been tempted to also be ashamed of that number and call myself all kinds of awful names. I know better now. So after a day or two, I got pretty curious.

I was under the impression, from all the podcasts I listen to, that lean body mass has a huge impact on bone mineral density, so you want less fat and more lean mass. Makes sense. But here I am with way more fat than necessary and yet I have really good bones. 

A friend was visiting me at the time I got these results. A tiny friend. And she said to me: “but you have breasts!” I got curious about the impact of breast tissue on the Dexa scan, so, loving numbers I did some research and calculations. I asked google how much my breasts weigh based on my bra size. The answer was 1.65 - 2.0 pounds each. Assuming that the majority of my breast tissue is fat, it accounts for 5.5 to 7.0 % of my total fat. Does that mean then, that this news might not be as alarming as I think? Not being a math genius, I’m not sure I set up the problems correctly, but still,  one has to wonder about the differences in bodies of various shapes and sizes and the optimal ranges for metrics such as body fat.

My initial reaction was: I have to fix this. I need to change my diet and work out like a crazy person to fix this. Gotta fix the numbers. But metrics without meaning are useless. And I can't help but wonder about the necessity for all these precise ways of measuring our healthworth. And at least in my case, focusing on fixing the metrics distracts me from living my life in the present. It creates a sense of dissatisfaction, of “less than,” of “not enough”. So when I examine these metrics through the lens of curiosity instead of a commentary on my relative worth, it puts them in their proper place.

What I know is that this body is strong. It is healthy - even if the numbers say something less than ideal. I can wake up every day and go about all my tasks with energy, vitality and joy. I can get up and down off the floor. I can push, pull, bend and lift. I can mountain bike and hike and go supping. I’m still going to focus on strength training and protein. And I am still going to hope that some of those scary trends I’ve seen in my healthworth numbers start to reverse. But it won’t be my goal. My goal is to make the most of this one life I get, day by day. I want to live each day fully present, fully alive. To bring hope and healing to the world in whatever way I can, whenever I can, however I can. And as much as I love numbers, I refuse to let them define me.

The Life-Changing Power of Underwear

You may be wondering how on earth underwear can be life-changing, but it is often the tiny, ordinary moments of life that create extraordinary shifts. Now hopefully we're all putting on clean underwear daily. I’m talking about brand new underwear! I quietly entered menopause a few years ago. I know, a bit of a taboo subject, but so is underwear. I thought I had made it through unscathed due to my ‘healthy lifestyle’, but then the unthinkable happened. Over the course of about 3 months, I gained 10 pounds. My body shape-shifted. Again. (Read my previous post: My Curvy Reality) I hadn’t started binging or eating junk food. I hadn’t stopped exercising.  I wasn’t even under an unusual amount of stress - quite the contrary. Now I had been hearing from women year after year wondering why they were gaining weight suddenly upon reaching a ‘certain age’, but other than the obvious hormone shift,  it was a conundrum I never had an answer for. I still don’t. (There are plenty of Health and Wellness experts that claim to though!)

The distressing thing about weight gain is that things stop fitting. You squeeze yourself into those cute jeans, but now there’s a bit of flesh that hangs over the top. The unfortunate result of this phenomena is that we, of a ‘certain age’ believe that this just shouldn’t be and wonder what to do to make those jeans fit again. Well, for me, the most distressing thing was that the top of my underwear now rolled down. It no longer laid flat against my abdomen. It was uncomfortable. And of course because of toxic diet culture and the subliminal messages we have absorbed from it all our lives, I somehow deemed the source of the  rolled over underwear, my new weight gain, as a character flaw. So I tried really, really hard to believe that the extra weight was not a failing on my part to be ‘healthy’ or that my worthiness as a human was somehow called into question. Because I know better and have spent years trying to undo those damning  messages I absorbed and allowed to rule me for so long. 

As a health coach, this was most perplexing though because isn’t weight gain a body’s protective response to keep me alive? That must mean that some internal system had gone haywire and maybe there’s a problem. While there are always new habits to be made in the name of health, I truly couldn’t think of what to do about this. When I truly sat back and assessed my health and habits, I literally could not think of a major, sustainable shift I could make to resolve this ‘problem’. So I started to wonder if it was actually a problem? A little research revealed that it is, in fact, healthy for women ‘of a certain age’ to gain a few pounds - it seems to have a health-protective effect. So I wondered? Maybe this is my new reality, even though I’m bumping up against the upper limits of my BMI (more on arbitrary metrics later). Maybe I just needed to settle in and accept it. After all, my weight does not define me. The level of discomfort I felt from the weight gain was a product of an ingrained message, and it was not logical. Easier said than done when your clothes - and underwear - no longer fit. But I faithfully continued to put on that old, ragged, ill-fitting underwear, and look in the mirror and tell myself that it was OK. That I am beautiful, accepted and I belong. The habit of telling myself the truth to rewire my mind was my new strategy. But the mirror belied my truth.

Now I’m one of those people who puts off buying underwear for years. Literally. I’m not sure what the procrastination factor is on that. I have no problem buying new hoodies or high tops, but underwear? As time wore on, my underwear literally started getting holes in it that I could no longer ignore. They were so holey they were almost useless. So one day, I just bit the bullet and went to the intimates store. And as I walked in the door, I thought, “maybe I should try the next size up?” So bravely I went in and immediately the clerk asked what size she could help me find. I would like to say that I was able to request my new size with no qualifiers, but I’m not quite that enlightened yet, as I did mention the new weight. Like really - why would she care? But long story short, I went home and tried on my new size. And over the course of a few days, as I looked in the mirror, I realized that I no longer had to work so hard to convince myself of my new mantra - that it’s OK and that I am beautiful, accepted and I belong. Because what I saw was something that fit my new body and made me look beautiful. Sexy even. Nothing about my circumstances had changed. Only my perspective. This one tiny ordinary everyday thing - underwear - had the power to shift my perspective from a perplexing negative energy to a space of freedom. It radically altered the way I viewed myself and talked to myself. New underwear changed my life!

 

My Curvy Reality

This morning I put on a pair of jeans. They felt a little odd. I looked in the mirror. They fit really well, but the waist seemed higher than any of the pairs of jeans I remember having. I was perplexed until I took them off and realized I had inadvertently put on my husband’s jeans. I was tempted to be horrified since they fit so well and he is 6 inches taller than I. To put it into perspective though, he is a really fit, 45 year-old elite athlete.  Still, his jeans have never fit me before. I’ve known for some time that my body is changing, but this little incident brought the reality of change crashing down on me.

No, I haven’t gotten fat. I’ve just shape-shifted. And put on a few pounds. Apparently this is normal for middle aged women and I should just accept it gracefully because my body is protecting itself for the coming changes. Easier said than done. Yet what else can I do short of something extreme like dieting or exercising more?

I know I know. Diet and exercise doesn’t sound extreme. But here’s a glimpse of my lifestyle: I eat mostly whole, fresh, organic foods, lots of veggies, very low sugar, moderate carb intake, no gluten. I eat less these days because even though I exercise, my body doesn’t seem to need what it used to. I run about 3 miles at a time a few times a week and I go mountain biking when I can for an hour and a half to two hours. I have an active job. I always take the stairs when I can and I usually run them.

Because of my healthy lifestyle I've been fairly comfortable and confident with my body over the last several years. Comfortable and confident, to me, means I don't spend much energy thinking about it - I'm free to not think about me. But now I’ve taken notice of my body and sadly, I have been self-conscious about it - sometimes in near panic mode wondering if I should try to be an athlete or go completely carb free. It is a very humbling and challenging experience.

After nearly a year of fighting with myself, telling myself that this is unacceptable and I must do something, I slowly came to a realization. My impetus for doing something is not that I am unhealthy and need to change. It is purely based on my perception that there is a standard I need to live up to - a freakish, cultural standard of beauty that I have internalized, believing that I have some inherent deficiency because I don’t look a certain way.

Yet this body does not define me. It houses me, but it does not define me. Who I am is not tied up in my body shape or size. I am being challenged to live in freedom. I am doing my part – making healthy food choices, exercising, building healthy relationships, sleeping and relaxing. So even though it may be awhile before I become comfortable and confident again, there’s one more choice I can make toward living in freedom: for today, I will choose to embrace my curvy reality.

a couple of things

#1 - 20 years on wednesday. I was a poor college student when we finally hooked up and we spent our honeymoon at a friends cabin in the az mountains. Fast forward 20 years later and i finally made up for that by taking the lady to sonoma county for a few days. Weather was gloomy, but that's okay when you are driving from place to place drinking wine.

#2 - Halloween was the 2nd annual enduro pub crawl. It's like the p2p up in jeffco, but with more beer stops. 5 stops and 40 miles. We came up short by two breweries, but now we know we have start earlier.

Restrictive Diets and Autistic Children

A new study was published in the medical journal Pediatrics on Monday, the New York Times reports. The introduction of the article states: “Many parents of autistic children have put their children on strict gluten-free or dairy-free diets, convinced that gastrointestinal problems are an underlying cause of the disorder. But a new study suggests the complicated food regimens may not be warranted.”

The (Mayo Clinic) study compared, through a review of medical records covering an 18-year period, 100 autistic children and 200 ‘typical’ children, in order to determine the incidence of gastrointestinal problems between the two populations. The study found no differences in overall frequency of gastrointestinal problems. The study found that 77% of autistic children and 72% of non-autistic children suffered, over the 18-year period, from bouts of one or more of the following ‘common’ gastrointestinal complaints: “constipation, diarrhea, abdominal bloating, reflux or vomiting. Feeding issues and picky eating were also common.”

Based on the facts of the study listed in the article, I’m wondering how on earth such a conclusion was drawn? Does the commonality of gastrointestinal incidence between the two groups somehow imply that a gluten-free casein-free (GF/CF) diet would be ineffective for one or both of the groups? If the study was comparing gastrointestinal complaints, how can a conclusion be drawn about the efficacy of a given diet? The information on the study is not specific. Were the autistic children that suffered from intestinal complaints actually already on GF/CF diet? Were the ‘bouts of common intestinal complaints’ a result of viruses or infections or just random complaints?

The doctor who led the study stated: “no trial …has proven so far that a gluten-free and casein-free diet improves autism. The diets are not easy to follow and can sometimes cause nutritional deficiencies.” Nutritional deficiencies are common among those with Celiac Disease or gluten intolerance. No trial has proven that a GF/CF diet improves autism, but there is PLENTY of evidence. Ask any parent of an autistic child who uses this as one of their many pieces of therapy or recovery for their children. The question isn’t JUST does it improve the symptoms of autism, but does it improve the gastrointestinal complaints? Again, ask the parents who use this diet. Ask anyone with Celiac Disease – the diet makes a difference.

If there is evidence in the autism community that the diet is effective, could it be that the diet might also be effective in the non-autistic community? What the study doesn’t ask is, if over 70% of children suffer from these same complaints, should a GF/CF diet be considered for BOTH autistic and ‘typical’ children?

Just to be clear, here are a few relevant stats for Celiac Disease and gluten intolerance:

· 1 out of every 133 people have Celiac Disease (CD) (compare with 1 out of 150 with Autism – both epidemic levels)
· Only 3% of people with CD have been diagnosed
· The number of people with non-celiac gluten sensitivity may be as high as 1 out of 7 people
· Gluten intolerance / Celiac Disease is responsible for a host of symptoms including, but not limited to: any type of gastrointestinal symptom, autoimmune diseases, anemia and nutritional deficiencies.

WHY is gluten all of a sudden the demon in this epidemic? Gluten is NOT easy to digest and since bioengineers are continually working to improve the gluten in grain, we now have 90% more gluten in wheat than we did a century ago. And what do we eat more than any other food in the U.S.? Wheat, of course.

So, does the study, at least as portrayed by the New York Times, REALLY have anything to do with whether or not autistic children would benefit from a gluten free diet? And here’s another question – if the human body is designed to function efficiently when given appropriate nutrition, shouldn’t a 70%+ incidence of REPORTED (i.e. – medical records) gastrointestinal discomfort among CHILDREN set off an alarm bell somewhere? If bloating, constipation and diarrhea are ‘common’, then why report them so they are in medical records? The fact is, the way the body is designed, they should NOT be common if the diet is appropriate. And just to reiterate – 80% of the immune system is attached to the gut. If the gut ain’t happy, the body ain’t happy.

Parental rights - American freedom

Well, I was going to blog on some helpful swine flu tips, even though it seems the 'danger' has passed, but this caught my eye and I couldn't help it. The implications are obvious, but I'm inclined to point out a few anyway.

Family lands in court over son's cancer treatment
by Sea Stachura, Minnesota Public Radio
May 8, 2009

The Brown County attorney is taking one boy's parents to court for refusing additional treatment for his cancer. The south central Minnesota family says it is following their religion by using alternative medicine to treat their son's Hodgkin's lymphoma. The Brown County attorney claims the family is guilty of medical neglect and says the boy could die without chemotherapy.

Sleepy Eye, Minn. — Danny Hauser is sitting on the lawn with his parents at their dairy farm near Sleepy Eye. The 13-year old is one of eight children. His cheeks are full and pink now, but his mom, Colleen, says in mid-January he didn't look this good. He coughed non-stop.

"We thought pneumonia," Colleen Hauser said. "We took him up to our local doctor, and he did some X-rays and some lab work, and referred us to Children's Hospital in the Twin Cities at that point. I knew when I saw the blood work that something was wrong."

He was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. Multiple hospitals recommended chemotherapy and radiation. The survival rate for Hodgkin's is 80 percent with chemotherapy, according to the Mayo Clinic.

The family refused the treatment.

"I wanted to do alternative medicine. They were aware of that. I just did not like what the chemo did," Hauser said.

Eventually, Danny received one round of chemotherapy. He didn't return for the second treatment. The hospital contacted authorities and that led Brown County attorney Jim Olson to go to court to file a child in need protection or service petition.

The petition alleges that Colleen and Tony Hauser are medically neglecting Danny. It's in the state's interest to prevent a child from dying from a treatable cancer, according to Olson.

"You have on the one hand the parental rights to decide what's right for their child, keeping with their religious beliefs, their medical and nutritional beliefs. On the other hand you've got the state's interest saying, here's a child we've got a report from the treating doctor saying that this child is in danger because of the decisions the parents are making."

Olson wants the court to require that Danny resume chemotherapy immediately. He said the case is unusual.

"I've been the county attorney for 24 years and I've been an assistant since 1972 and frankly this is the first case I've come across," Olson said.

In 2007, the Minnesota Department of Human Services found that 94 children had been medically neglected. One child died as a result of the alleged neglect. Nationally, courts have based decisions on religious practices and a child's medical treatment on the specifics of the case.

In this instance, the family has a religious and parental right to care for their son in a way that is consistent with their beliefs. The family practices a Native American faith called Nemenhah, Colleen Hauser said.

"It's our religious belief. God has put everything on this earth to heal any kind of whatever-you-want-to-call-it. He has put every plant, herb ... we men just have to find it. And they are finding it. And it's working," she said.

She says regular X-rays and blood work show the tumor has shrunk.

"His health today is unsurpassed to what it was. And I don't know what's wrong with that," Hauser said.

His mother says if Danny weren't getting better, the family would consider chemotherapy. Danny Hauser says he would not.

"I see it as a poison, it poisons your body," Danny Hauser said.

At the age of 13, Danny is not capable of making these life-and-death decisions, according to Brown County attorney Jim Olson.

"If the parents wanted to treat Type II diabetes with diet and nutrition, and they didn't want him on insulin and it wasn't life threatening, well, okay, that's their choice," Olson said.

Colleen Hauser says this is a family decision, and not one for the state. And the family is respecting Danny's wishes.

"He told me this time and time again, 'Mom, I would rather die and be with God rather than go through the hell of chemo.' And that is how he feels. And I as a parent am not going to deprive him of his beliefs," Hauser said.

Asked if his mother was right, that he would rather die that go through chemotherapy, Danny Hauser said, "Yes."

The judge expects to rule today on whether Danny can continue his alternative medicine or has to begin chemotherapy.>

SO, SOME THOUGHTS:

1) 80% survival rate with chemo, according to Mayo Clinic - where are the statistics from alternative and nutritional treatments?

2) The 'child' in question is 13. In many cultures 13 year-olds get married, because if you think about it, this is when a person's body 'matures' into adulthood. Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah - a right of passage at 13. And in America, we allow them to choose which divorced parent they wish to live with. Yes, they are young,and still need some protection and guidance, but they are cognizant beings capable of making some pretty important decisions when allowed to. If they are protected by our law as an individual, do they not get an opinion about what happens to them?

3) And lastly, helloooo! This is America. If we are protecting 'children' (as defined in America) until they are 18 - they are under the 'protection' of their parents! Parents can choose, because of our supposed freedom, CHOOSE how to educate, raise and make medical decisions for our children until they are 18, unless they forfeit that freedom by threatening the child's life, right? But there is NO PROOF that conventional (i.e pharmaceutical) medicine is the ONLY method to save the life of someone with cancer. Therefore, NO PROOF that this 13 year old's life is at stake. So if that is true, WHY would the State trample a parent's rights without having all the facts? Are alternative medicine and religious freedom actually illegal in our supposedly 'democratic' and free state?

How sad for us.

Healthy Weight

So, what is a healthy weight and why is it important? A healthy weight is just that - a weight that allows you to be healthy. "Healthy implies full strength and vigor as well as freedom from signs of disease." The working definition of healthy is somewhat blurred in the U.S. however, because we often consider ourselves to be healthy even when we struggle with daily or frequent burdens such as allergies, asthma, colds, bloating, heartburn, fatigue, headaches or constipation. For some reason these seem like minor inconveniences that can be easily treated with over the counter or prescription remedies. And in a way, they are. Yes, asthma and allergies can become life-threatening and a bad headache or cold can put us in bed, but often we just treat the symptoms and function the best we can with our added burden without much loss of daily function.

So what does weight have to do with all this? If we are not at a healthy weight for our frame, we often suffer with some of the aforementioned issues and, depending on the severity of our weight imbalance, we are at increased risk for far more serious health problems - obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, autoimmune disorder......the list goes on. We hear about it day after day. If we are not at a healthy weight it is one of our body's primary signals that something has gone awry. What's interesting is that sometimes a little detective work can sniff out a potential remedy of this situation and reduce our suffering.

80% of our immune system is attached to the small intestine. That tells us that nutrition is VERY important for health. Our bodies are designed in such a way that food is what allows us to thrive. Therefore WHAT we eat matters as much, if not more, than how much we eat. What's difficult is that we have such diversity of needs and constitution, that one size does NOT fit all. There is no simple formula for finding a healthy weight. If overeating is a problem, it may have started with an imbalance somewhere in the body - hormones, food sensitivities, or even more likely the quality of foods consumed. Once someone gets on the cycle of overeating it often spirals into ill health and from there it's just a circular problem - can't exercise because of ill health, can't eat right because of lack of energy due to ill health (and money), can't get healthy because they can't manage to eat better.

One of the things that goes awry and contributes to an unhealthy weight is the function of the appestat. The appestat is "the area in the brain believed to regulate appetite and food intake." So here's the deal - the appestat tells us we are hungry if it is not satisfied by what we eat. This sounds silly since most of us really enjoy yummy things like chips, pizza or a good burger. But the appestat is actually satisfied by the nutrients in what we eat. The problem is - we're not eating nutrients! We are constantly eating chemicals and empty calories. More often than not we are drinking our calories in the form of sodas, juices and sports drinks - all very sugar laden and generally unnecessary for our health. (That excludes the juicing of whole vegetables and fruits of course) The drinks that are not sugar laden are often laced with artificial sugars which are linked to weight GAIN. Many of the foods we eat are laced with hidden forms of MSG - a neurotoxin linked to weight GAIN. Many of the foods we eat are so void of actual nutrients that our appestat is literally starving and signaling us that we are too. 

The good news is that with education and support we CAN change our weight, not by eating less but by making better choices about what we eat. The better our choices, the easier and healthier our journey. Some starting points are finding hidden food sensitivities, knowing where our foods come from, knowing what's in our foods and most importantly eating naturally, nutrient-dense, whole foods. A naturally nutrient-dense food is one that is not 'value added' like an energy bar, but one that has great nutrients all by itself such as a free-range egg, an avocado or a sweet potato. As we choose more of these nutrient-dense foods our bodies will begin to respond with signals of satisfaction and put us on the road to a more natural weight and better health.